In Loving memory of my Daughter ….
Celine, my daughter, was born on September 28th 2004. During all my pregnancy, I had the creepy feeling that I was never able to explain to anyone, not even my doctor. I used to ask my little baby if she was ok while in my womb. I always felt that she was weak and suffering over there, yet it was just a feeling since the results of all the medical tests during my pregnancy always looked good. 9 months in and I was suffering in silence and waiting for the moment to hold her and hug her and smell her to make her feel safe and warm as I was sure that she was in pain.
September 28th 2004: I was crying hard during labor, not because of physical pain caused by delivery; I was crying because of the pain that was ahead of me. I heard her cry like any new born baby. I held her tight in my arms to make her feel warm and safe, as if I wanted her pain to be projected on me as I could handle more ache like any mother who struggles just to see her child happy, in peace, safe and healthy. In fact, I have never thought that the only thing a mother can’t give to her child was health.
An hour later, three doctors entered my hospital room and clarified that Celine was not born healthy. She was suffering from Tetralogy of Fallot!
Fifteen years ago, smart phones were not available to check what was that “fallot “ thing they were talking about. They briefed me about her case, which was very critical. To me, with my new born baby, it was difficult at that moment to understand all the details and procedures to be followed as of that moment. Yet, facing this reality was the only choice I had, even though it was tough and ugly.
I had to be strong in order to fight for Celine’s health with all my capacity and give her all that I could give, even if my life depended on it. I believed that holding her and touching her soft skin and hair was helping her to be in peace. I used to ask her if she was afraid of losing me as much as I was afraid of losing her; if she was suffering from the heartache as much as I was suffering.
Among all the treatment procedures, there was one special thing the Doctor advised me to do, which I adored doing for thirty-one days. He said I should monitor her 24 hours per day and keep an eye on her. In case her skin color changes, I need to take her to the hospital immediately. I used to relish and enjoy her beauty by looking at her all those hours, yet the ugly truth was that I didn’t have any promise to see her grow.
Every minute was a hazard and all these questions used to hit me: “What if I lose her now? For how long will she survive? Will I see her growing up? Will I play with her and read stories as I have done to my son? Will we all play together? Will she….? Will we…? I didn’t have any answers for all the questions crossing my mind. So many questions with no answers!
October 28th 2004: while I was looking at my little baby girl, I noticed her skin color was turning blue. I asked my mother, who was next to me all the time, if she also noticed any change, and deep down I wanted her to tell me that she was ok and looked good. The truth was that Celine was not ok. We immediately took her to the hospital where the doctor decided to proceed with the operation, instantly.
I talked to the doctor with frozen tears in my eyes, and asked him what was the risk and what about the results and what would follow…?
“I can assure you 90% that she will survive the operation -that will last eight to ten hours. After the operation, however, and for the next 48 hours, I have no idea how her body will react and adapt, dear”, he said, clearly, while he put his hand on my shoulder as if trying to ease my pain.
Eight to ten hours and then 48 hours passed, which felt like eternity to me. I had to be braver than I was to fight for my little girl, holding a tiny hope in my heart to hold her again and kiss her beautiful blue cheeks.
Hours passed, and my heart was beating with hers as if the doctors were operating on my own heart, until the operation room door opened and I saw her! Actually, I was not able to see her among all the medical equipment she was surrounded by. This particular scene was imprinted in me…and that was it! I was not allowed to stay with her because she was one month old and needed an isolated room.
The nurses and the doctors were really supportive and gave me their direct numbers to communicate with them anytime during the night. I was calling them every 30 minutes and they were telling me that her state was stable.
October 29th 2004: I called the hospital at five in the morning, the moment I felt that I lost my little baby; her heart had stopped beating, but mine continued. The nurse was shocked when she heard my voice and was confused about what to tell me. I was crying because I was sure that it was over!
Was it the end? Did she really leave me? How come? Why? Tons of questions in my head and again without any answer!
October 29th 2004: the funeral was held at 2pm. It was the end and I was going to bury my Celine.
I have faced many challenges and difficulties in my life, but trust me, burying my daughter was the ultimate challenge. Even if she was only one month old, the bond between us was extraordinary. My lips kissed her cold and white cheeks for the last time. My tears were flowing all over her; I was holding her dead and cold body as if I could make her feel warm. The most precious and harsh moment in my entire life was very hard to express, and translating my feelings into words was even more difficult.
Days, weeks, months and years passed by; I realized and understood that she didn’t leave me, that I didn’t lose her and we were not separated. On the contrary, she is alive inside of me and our hearts always beat together. Hence, no more questions were hitting me, because my feelings went beyond all answers.
Celine taught me to be a strong and courageous woman. The pain I lived during that month was pure agony, but it led me to take firm decisions in my life with a brave heart and without fear.
Yes, Celine was born with a weak heart but she inspired me immensely. The soreness I lived transformed me into a brave woman that faced and endured difficulties without fear and even with enthusiasm.
Celine was and still is my inspiration ….
By, Hasmig Daniel, Life & Executive Coach
To know more about the author, visit this link.
English 
العربية
9 Comments
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thanks so much for the blog article.Thanks Again. Great.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thank you for your blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Really Great.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Many real estate businesses have structured their strategies https://cupidocam.com/content/tags/skinny around the funnel and it proved successful
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Enjoyed every bit of your blog article.Really thank you!
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thanks a lot for the blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Muchos Gracias for your article.Much thanks again. Keep writing.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thanks for the blog article.Much thanks again. Really Great.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Really enjoyed this article.Much thanks again. Awesome.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Major thankies for the blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Keep writing.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thanks for the article.Really thank you! Awesome.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Really informative article post. Fantastic.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
I appreciate you sharing this article post.Much thanks again. Want more.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Appreciate you sharing, great blog article.Thanks Again. Really Cool.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Very good post.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thanks-a-mundo for the article.Thanks Again. Keep writing.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Great blog.Thanks Again. Much obliged.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
I value the post.Thanks Again.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Very neat article. Great.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Major thankies for the blog article.Thanks Again.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Very informative article post.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Muchos Gracias for your post.Really looking forward to read more. Really Cool.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Major thanks for the article post. Really Cool.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thank you for your blog. Will read on…
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
I really enjoy the article.Really thank you! Really Great.
I really enjoy the article post.Thanks Again. Awesome.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
I truly appreciate this blog.Really thank you! Keep writing.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
This is one awesome post.Thanks Again. Want more.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Really appreciate you sharing this blog.Thanks Again. Fantastic.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Muchos Gracias for your post.Thanks Again. Want more.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Awesome blog.Much thanks again. Great.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Great blog. Keep writing.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Awesome article post.Thanks Again. Fantastic.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
It seems to me, what is it it was already discussed.
——
rajabets login
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
https://www.fap420.com/
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Muchos Gracias for your post.Thanks Again. Keep writing.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Muchos Gracias for your article post. Want more.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Really informative article.Thanks Again.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article.I’ll be sure to bookmark it and return to readmore of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I’ll definitely return.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Awesome post.Much thanks again. Cool.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
I cannot thank you enough for the article.Really looking forward to read more. Fantastic.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Great, thanks for sharing this blog post. Really Cool.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Really informative blog. Awesome.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thank you for your post.Really thank you!
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Very informative article.Thanks Again. Cool.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Interestingly 🙂
————
https://servers.expert/faq
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Enjoyed every bit of your blog.Thanks Again. Fantastic.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thanks-a-mundo for the blog. Great.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thanks so much for the blog article.Much thanks again. Awesome.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thanks again for the blog post.Really thank you! Much obliged.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Really informative article.Really thank you! Awesome.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Really enjoyed this blog article. Much obliged.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Really appreciate you sharing this article post.Thanks Again. Want more.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Appreciate you sharing, great article post. Keep writing.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Enjoyed every bit of your blog article. Will read on…
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
A round of applause for your blog.Thanks Again.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
I value the blog post. Fantastic.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Great, thanks for sharing this blog. Want more.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thank you ever so for you article post. Much obliged.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
I value the blog article. Cool.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Not clearly
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Nekultsy Ivan github vanced
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Muchos Gracias for your blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Keep writing.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
I really enjoy the blog article.Really thank you! Fantastic.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Wow, great article. Cool.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Very good blog article.Much thanks again. Cool.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Very good article post.Thanks Again. Great.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thanks again for the blog article. Really Great.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thanks for the article post.Much thanks again. Really Cool.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
I value the article post.Really thank you! Great.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Thank you for your article.Much thanks again. Cool.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
Very neat blog.Much thanks again. Will read on…
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
kukhareva.com
Excellent site. Plenty of helpful info here.
I adore meeting useful info, this post has got me even more info! .
I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here.
The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish.
nonetheless, you command get bought an edginess over that you
wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come more formerly again as exactly the same nearly
a lot often inside case you shield this increase.
Here is my web-site special
I am sure this piece of writing has touched all the internet
visitors, its really really good piece of writing on building up new website.
Also visit my web blog – tracfone special coupon 2022
Thanks, I’ve recently been looking for information about this subject for ages and yours is the best I have found so far.
Thank you for your note Noble !
I got what you intend, thanks for posting.
I’m glad I found a https://executive-women.me, a quality webpage!
Many people are struggling with high blood pressure,
this can help: https://s96.me/blood-pressure
Good wishes and health to all! 🙂