“YOU DON’T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO START YOUR OWN BUSINESS!”
This is what my client’s brother told her when he found out she wanted to register her business. Her father laughed her off saying, “Since when do you succeed in anything?”
Embarrassed and in doubt, she recounted these statements to me as she had just hired me to help her build up her business plan for her dream fashion design venture.
Have you heard similar statements before? Did they stop you from embarking on your dream venture? More importantly, did you find that you were repeating them to yourself?
Researchers have found that our subconscious is shaped primarily between the ages of 0 and 7 through observation, listening, tracking what is happening around us, and how we are communicated to. If you are told that you can’t do something, you will believe it, and you will hold on to it as your own truth.
The limiting beliefs are further shaped As we grow older, these limiting beliefs are further rooted, and we become accustomed to the statements and feedback we receive along our lives, such as “you are not sporty,” “you are not beautiful,” “you cannot travel and live by yourself,” “Business is ruthless and can only be endured by men,” and so many other skewed realities along the way. In fact, even if a part of us rejects these statements, they will keep shaping our lives when our subconscious accepts them as part of our reality.
So, why do they impact us? Because research has shown that our subconscious shapes up 95% of our daily decisions, actions, and reactions, leaving us with just 5% of a conscious mind to manipulate as per our own aspirations and will.
Is there anything we can do about it? Of course we can!
Once you have come to the realization that you might be manipulated by the ‘stories you tell yourself’ that were actually embedded in you, then you have reached the first step: Awareness. Beyond that, you need to work on reconditioning your subconscious towards developing a positive, adaptive growth mindset.
MINDSET is simply the manner and approach to which you think of and accordingly act on issues and events taking place in your life. It is typically influenced by your subconscious which is programmed by your upbringing and your environment, which – in turn – impacts your consequent actions.
You should aspire to build a growth mindset, versus a fixed one, and a mindset of abundance versus that of scarcity. That reconditioning step takes a little time and practice, yet, it is completely doable. It starts with listening to motivational & positive talks, and/or positive affirmations on a daily basis, that could be further complemented with 30 minutes of reading of developmental material.
As you enrich your soul and mind with positive talks, listen to inspirational talks and personalities. This would enhance your self-analytical capabilities, and you will be able to conduct the preliminary self-analysis, until you are ready to reach out for further professional guidance. Once again, self-awareness – not just criticism – is the key here for self-evolvement.
Also, when you do take the decision to reach out to a Therapist and/or a Coach, think of it as an investment in yourself, and this would aid your determination to find the funds to empower yourself further.
Now, you will be ready to revisit your dreams and aspirations. Write them down, then extract each one onto a separate sheet and break it down into small, achievable steps. Take full responsibility for your goals – to make them happen. Stay focused on your goal, regardless of the distractions. Write down 12 reasons of why you will NOT fail to replace the limiting beliefs you were once made to embrace as your reality.
I am certain the above works, because I came from a place where I thought I was not worthy, not good enough, and I ultimately asked myself: “who do you think you are” every time I dared to dream big. And with the time and effort I invested in myself, my aspirations are now limitless and I strive towards them on a daily basis with leaps and bounds versus the one-step-forward-10-steps-back approach I employed a few years ago.
Time to shift from: “I wish someone would have told/shown me that growing up!” to: “I now know. And I will shine a light for me and for others!”
By, Dr. Hanan El Basha, Business & Mindset Coach
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